


Happier

by lalez



Category: S.W.A.T. (TV 2017)
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Episode Tag, F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-20
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:20:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 5,236
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27645380
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lalez/pseuds/lalez
Summary: Chris is looking to get her life back on track. But what does she need to feel that it is working out?
Comments: 4
Kudos: 37





	1. Thinking

**Author's Note:**

> After seeing the Season 4 premiere I felt the need to dive into Chris's head a little bit. Short, confused, no resolution in sight.  
> This is not the piece I expected to write after hearing Happier by Marshmellow and Bastille back after Season 3's Diablo. But it wanted out. And now enjoy (?)

This day has been torture.

She had brought it on herself. She wanted him happy. It had been her main thought behind encouraging Molly to give him a chance. Chris had wanted to see his smile again, and she had seen that come out when he talked to Molly or about her.

At the same time, her own relationship had crumbled and she was on her own now. Although Jim had always fought to repair their friendship Chris struggled with that. Especially after she slowly had come to terms with her own feelings.

How had that happened? She really couldn't say.

She had been surprised by her jealousy at first and Chris had tried to create more space again. To distance herself from Street and his happiness. There was one thing she never wants to do: destroy his happiness.

But with everything she had done in recent weeks, like telling him he wouldn't have met her if his childhood had been normal. God, she almost had to explain to him today why she wanted to know about Molly. What had drawn him in?

_Molly Hicks is a risk worth taking._

It had cut like a knife. Almost as much, if not more as when he told her they had moved in together. She couldn't comprehend that.

But she had brought it on herself. She had asked about him coping with living apart. She had wanted him to know she cares.

Chris shakes her head at herself rationalizing and opens up a beer from the fridge.

She plans on using the next two days off to recharge and figure out how to move forward.

A sarcastic smile forms on her face when she recalls the conversation they had last week at the community fair, commemorating the 92 riots. When Street had claimed he could read her, she had been afraid he really could. But today?

Well, what did today mean? Had he really not noticed anything? Had he never been able to read her or had Chris just gotten better at hiding her feelings?

She couldn't say anything for sure anymore.

She just knew she wouldn't be able to keep up the façade for much longer. Today had been hard to fake the smiles. She was happy for him. She really is, but it hurts nonetheless.

And that invitation after shift.

How is she ever supposed to go to _their_ place and survive?

Her gaze falls on the framed picture of Champ on her dresser.

Maybe she should go and train dogs again? There is a standing offer to come and help there.

Chris decides again to take these two days to figure it out and goes to sleep with a sad smile on her face and the thought.

_Maybe I have to go._


	2. Idea

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, here goes nothing. Seeing Erica and having her back changed the plan for this a little (also TLI) but I guess my basic idea is still in this. We will see how this will work in posting alongside the show every week. But I guess we are already in a really AU world now :) Enjoy.

Two days of thinking. And still no resolution, just more confusion. And then finding out that Tan and Street have signed up for TLI to just was the last straw. How couldn't they see that that hurt? She rolls her eyes a little at herself when she realizes it was Tan who had actually realized first, she was distant. Chris was sure she didn't owe any of them an explanation. And after unloading with Erica, who used her own words to remind Chris she needs to push herself and stop being afraid, she is now fired up and ready to beat the guys.

She actually has something that could end the competition right now. An idea she has been mulling over for quite a while now.

Chris is a little nervous bringing that idea to Hicks, Lynch, and Hondo at the same time. But it has to be done.

After her presentation, Chris is asked to wait outside and Hondo suggests training. Getting a good workout in. He must've sensed the nervous energy rolling off of her in waves. This is how Chris finds herself on the bike, headphones in and just peddling along at high speed.

Chris is jolted out of her concentration by a hand on her shoulder. "Hicks is asking for us," Erica tells her and motions upstairs. The unspoken question being why two female officers need to report to the commander at the same time. A small smile forms on Chris's lips. This sounds like good news.

Arriving upstairs after her shower Chris notices Rocker and Hondo are in the room too, just standing there next to Erica waiting for Hicks to address them. And probably for Chris to show up.

"Alonso, you are expected at the training center for the afternoon session. They wanted to know if you'd be okay with taking your partner home again?" Chris can hear the confusion in her bosses' voice. But she nods her head. "I will. Lou has been staying with me anyway. Thank you, sir."

"As you can figure out, 20 David will need to make up its numbers for the next few weeks with Alonso on special assignment." The commander continues and addresses Rocker now. "We thought it would be a good experience for Rogers to be that extra officer. I expect your cooperation."

Chris looks directly at Erica who seems shocked and confused, but still excited. She registers Rocker agreeing to Erica being on both teams for a little while. And then they all get dismissed.

On her way to the locker room, Erica catches up with Chris. "What is going on? Are you giving up TLI?"

"No, I am not. I just, I had an idea for a while and went to Hicks with it. Seems he agrees and now I am off to K9 to see if it can work. If it does, I have a good feeling about TLI, if not well I'll have to deal with it then."

"I don't get it. How long are you going to be over there anyway?" Erica asks and drops on the bench, just watching Chris pull her stuff out of her locker. "And why are you packing up all of your stuff?"

"I am taking everything I need with me. The idea is to better the understanding between both groups of officers. K9 works and communicates differently to SWAT and I guess I want to see if we can work on that."

Rogers stays quiet. "I don't get it. Why now? Why hurt your chances in this way? You know the guys will think you dropped out."

Chris shrugs her shoulders. "Let them. I'll still be on the board. So, I don't care what they think. I will do my best to kick their buts and this is a part of that."

She quickly checks if everything she needs is in her bag and zips it up after. "I gotta go. You go, and impress Hondo." Chris finishes and taps Erica's shoulder in a goodbye.

She is excited about this new opportunity and showing Hicks especially that she can lead in more aspects than one.


	3. Test

She should've known there was a reason her training group had been chosen for this K9 support call.

Walking in from their cars she spotted Rocker and the rest of 50 David immediately.

"The city is going all out for Rhodium," Gonzales mentions and the others agree.

"Alonso." Rocker greets her. "Does that mean I get Rodgers back?" Chris smiles hearing the separation. "Not quite yet. But where are we needed? Dispatch just sent us."

"We could use a dog here, checking the cars and Hondo could use you. they are looking for hidden weapons."

There is a small sigh of relief threatening to escape her mouth and so she turns and addresses Gonzales and the others. "You heard the man. Go, meet Sergeant Harrelson down there. I'll stay here and help with the cars."

Stevens raises his eyebrows a little but Chris just rolls her eyes. "Lou finds bombs not rifles, so you should be glad I decided to stick with you."

After the search is concluded, the K9 handlers meet back at their vehicles and Chris notices Gonzales and Meyers huddled over their phones. "What has you giggling like schoolgirls with a crush?"

Gonzales turns his phone and Chris almost instantly starts laughing.

"Where did you get that?"

"Tan, he just couldn't help himself. Something about great timing for a picture and great blackmail material." suddenly he stops talking. "Oh, I think we just ruined the surprise." and motions to her phone.

And yes, she has received a text message but from Deac: "Chris, we need you back. Because that cap is for recruits and having you here could solve this bout of grandeur in seconds. We miss you."

He included the picture and for the first time, she actually feels good being back, this close to SWAT. Although technically she never left.

Walking back into SWAT after two weeks out felt like a homecoming, even it was just to work on her shooting with Erika.

They had become friends despite the rocky start and now support each other through the daily struggle in an alpha male world.

Down at the shooting range Erika has already set up for her and leans against the back wall with a grin on her face looking at her phone.

Erika looks up when the door bangs closed. "Have you seen this?"

Chris lets out a laugh. "Yeah, Deac sent it to me. How did that happen?"

Just seeing Erika's eyes sparkle, Chris can see the story is going to be good.

"I guess, Deac just had enough." Rogers shakes her head laughing. "Stevens had a bad day shooting or is trolling Street who knows. But he needed to get knocked down a bit and you know Deac. That was his solution to stop the bragging."

"Wait, you're trying to tell me Street is going for master gunner? Has he lost his mind?" the shock and disbelief is obvious and Erika breaks out in fits of laughter again.

"Your guess is as good as mine. And now, can we..." she nods her head to the range and both of them get ready.

During their session, Chris realizes how much she missed being at SWAT full time. Her time at K9 has shown her, she can lead but she misses the daily routine at SWAT she had grown so accustomed to. The way they all tease each other and still support each other through everything. So, she makes a mental note to set up the evaluation with Hicks and Valdez to see where they are on this K9 learns SWAT experiment and finally find out how this affected her TLI score.


	4. Evaluate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to me trying to figure out how to move forward while sticking to a couple of key elements from the show. This a little fillery, but I am doing my best to continue posting through the holiday break. Stay safe and enjoy.

Chris couldn't deny she was nervous as hell. This meeting, this talk was her opportunity to present her key points after her time at K9. To summarize the importance of building that connection and convince Hicks of that. Valdez had let it slip that there was a peer-review section for the project and she really dreaded that part of it.

What would other officers say to the proposal?

Her mind flashes back to when Cortez had tried with her reforms and the fallout had been ugly. Yes, it had been on a completely different scale, but SWAT officers are proud of their job, their accomplishments, and having even more qualified officers out on the streets makes the competition for the spots on active teams harder.

"Just one more reason why I need to get this selection" pops into her mind.

"They are ready for you." Johnson leaves the room and informs her it's her turn. Did he look sure of himself? Did they already do the TLI interviews?

No time to dwell.

Chris squares her shoulders and walks in.

Hicks and Lynch are in the room motioning for her to sit down.

Hicks is fiddling with his video call set up. "We are dialing in Valdez for your interview," Lynch explains and Chris's nerves spike again. This is her TLI interview combined with the project meeting?

K9 has a say in a SWAT eval? Is that really fair?

A million thoughts run in her head, but as soon as a smiling Hicks turns to her that quiets down. It is strange but seeing Hicks smile calms her.

When Valdez pops up on the screen and after he said his hellos, Lynch starts talking:

"Officer Alonso, we and the brass were impressed with your idea and the execution of your training session with K9. Seeing the teams work alongside specialized units like SWAT at the Rhodium memorial led to us asking the other officers involved in that memorial how they perceived the interdepartmental work relations."

Chris can't help the little gasps escaping but Lynch just takes a breath and continues with a nod, "Yes, even your team. And their feedback might surprise you."

Involuntary Chris sucked in a stuttered breath.

She had expected the command staff to give feedback on the project but every involved officer? What if they gave negative feedback because they knew...?

"Alonso?" the commander's voice brings her back to the present. "Where did you go just now?"

"I am sorry, I was just wondering what you told them they were doing?" Wow great, way to sound sure of yourself. Her inner voice had a snarky edge now, but she couldn't help but be afraid of what was coming next.

"I told you their feedback might surprise you. And especially your team, they aren't stupid, and they knew exactly why we were asking those questions. Everyone was impressed and commended your efforts specifically." Hicks takes a small break and Chris lets out a sigh of relief. She almost feels ashamed for doubting them. 20 David is nothing if not loyal. They are more like a family. Sometimes a little dysfunctional but a family non the less and she missed them in the last weeks.

"There was one sentence that stuck with me." Lynch comments. "Most officers don't speak SWAT, but this time we didn't need to stop and explain. The K9 handler knew exactly what was going to happen and positioned himself accordingly. I hope this continues in the future."

Valdez and Hicks nod their heads. "Correct. And I guess he speaks from experience. Going from SWAT to patrol can be eye opening." Hicks continues with a smirk in his face.

Now she couldn't help the smile on her face.

They all congratulated her and the plans were made for Chris to return to SWAT full-time the following week.

Leaving the office and walking down the stairs Chris is still smiling but she can also feel a buzzing throughout the rotunda. At the last steps, she joins Erika. "What's going on?"

"You've been gone too long if you don't know…" Erika smiles at her. "Deac is going to announce who took master gunner."


	5. Moving

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, I hope you had an amazing holiday season so far. The countdown to 2021 is already ongoing and I hope for a better year :) Well, this is my version of Chris's reaction. Enjoy

Hearing Deacon announce Street of all people edged out Stevens for Master Gunner came as a shock to Chris. Now she is sitting in the kitchen and studying the scores.

She can't deny she is impressed, and he must've put in a lot of work.

"What are you staring at?" Erika's voice draws her back to the kitchen.

"Apartment listings." It comes out quick and even, but she hadn't realized Erika is standing right behind her.

"Looks more like Master Gunner scores to me. You worried about what that does to your TLI chances? You disappeared kind of quickly there."

Erika pulls out a chair and sits down and Chris sighs.

"I don't know. I guess. I hadn't realized he was so serious about the whole thing, so I was caught off guard." Chris can see the confusion on her friend's face.

"He trained an awful lot with Steven, over the last week. And you knew he is one of the best with both handed shooting, you made him help me. So why were you surprised he takes this competition seriously?"

Chris lets out a soft laugh and rolls her eyes.

"I didn't mean Master Gunner. I knew he had a shot if he trained. I just, this has an impact on TLI even if it isn't on the board yet." She flicks the screen of her tablet to show the scoreboard.

"Your K9 thing hasn't made an impact so far either," Erika comments a little surprised.

"Doesn't look like it." Chris can't help but sound a little defeated. She turns her attention back to the tablet and finally opens up the search website.

"I should look for an apartment, but I forgot how hard it is to find a pet-friendly place. Anything affordable has rules against animals." She tries to change the subject. Obsessing about the scoreboard won't help her clear her mind of the competition. She knows the strain on the team has been obvious and most of that is probably her fault. She just can't help it. She doesn't like competing against her teammates. Her friends. But if she wants to come out on top Chris needs to focus on her own path.

"Don't think I didn't notice the change in topic but let me show you a listing that sounds great for you." Erika offers with a smile and waits for Chris to nod her head to grab the tablet.

After a couple of seconds, Erika turns the tablet back around and Chris studies the screen. The place looks great, amazingly located near a park, quiet street, and still pretty well accessible. It ticks a lot of boxes, but then she stumbles over the size and the price. "This is a two-bedroom and a little pricy to swing alone."

"You always could get a roommate." Erika quips and Chris stares at her surprised. "You know someone who would be okay living with a SWAT officer and occasional K9 handler?"

The smile on Erika's face all but screams "Gotcha!"

"Well, you could always take over Streets room at Luca's…"

Chris is speechless. That was not what she expected to hear. It would actually be an easy solution but no she couldn't do that. That wouldn't help in creating and keeping boundaries and moving forward.

She takes a moment to collect herself. Hoping against all odds Erika didn't catch that blush she feels on her face.

"And here I thought you were going to tell me you are looking for a roommate."

"So that's a no to Luca's place?" Chris can see the teasing smile and rolls her eyes. Somewhere along the lines, she had found a new friend in the other woman and it felt good to trade these jokes.

"Duke would just get confused if I brought home a new house guest every other week, can't do that to the poor creature," Chris replies and is a little proud of herself. The reason is solid. The house is Duke's home and territory and as a former police K9, he is going to protect his property against any intruder.

"Good point. So that's a yes to moving in together?" Erika concedes and offers her hand to shake. "Yeah, let's do that. If we get this place." Chris shakes and points to the open browser tab.

Chris feels good about making future plans. She found a new purpose with her special assignment to K9, she was hoping to get some recognition for that work in her TLI score and she was on the way to find a new place, with an amazing friend.


	6. Rebuild

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I managed to finally finish my bit for Hopeless Sinners. It took me a while to figure out how to include the emotional toll it took on Chris and I think that will play into the next installment too.

Being back at SWAT full time, or her new version of it was exhausting for Chris so she looked forward to this day off. But just her luck she had run into a new "case". At first it looked just like a possessive ex-boyfriend not getting it is over, but it turns out nothing was what it looked like at first.

Something about the girls and the drive to belong somewhere resonated deeply within Chris and that drove her to help get these girls out of there. The _pastor_ and his warped teachings were hurting her.

They are on the final stretch, but they still haven't found that damn preacher. Chris is beating herself up, could she have changed anything if she had acted differently that morning? Would Dylan still be alive? She is angry that he got caught up in all of this and had to die.

He wasn't at fault.

Chris can feel the tears rising again just remembering the young man and his passion. His worry for his friend. This wasn't how things were supposed to happen.

The kitchen had been her quiet place. Her reprieve from all the worrying glances of her colleagues who all could read her emotions like a book today.

She had wanted the time to pull herself back together, think it through in her head and even if they weren't exactly talking right now, Street still had found a way to be there for her. To make her talk.

A small smile plays on her lips at the memory. God, she wanted to hit him for being so damn honest.

Maybe there still is a way for them to be friends?

But that is a topic for another day.

The final moments leading up to her taking the kill shot were nerve-wracking. Taking the shot as safely as possible, to not hurt Zoe had been on her mind, and frankly was distracting her just a smidge.

But everything worked out well, and it turns out that the congregation didn't need a phony preacher robbing them blind at the collection. They were also looking out for each other without him.

Chris hoped they would get a good pastor and actually continue their good work. The general idea of keeping these young people of the streets and giving them a purpose was important.

_Maybe I can volunteer and help out?_

"Taking on more responsibilities?" Chris hears from behind as Erika just walks in with another of her boxes.

"I said that out loud?" she replies and Erika nods.

"Where were you thinking about helping out? That church that got raided?"

"Yeah, I guess the idea behind it all spoke to me and I want to help rebuild that community," Chris explains with a hint of guilt in her voice.

"It wasn't your fault, Chris." Erika tries to help her out of the funk. "Come on, you can help me bring in my stuff now, or we won't get this place ready for our housewarming like ever."

Chris whirls around and has probably shock all over her face.

"You want to do what? Who would we even invite to that magical event?"

"Come on, your team, your friends, your family, and the same for me!" Erika fires back with a grin.

"I'll think about it." Chris concedes and walks outside to grab some more of Erika's boxes.

It was a good decision to move in with the other woman. She would keep her sane and as luck would have it Erika was her champion in all things TLI. Every time Chris was about ready to give up Erika was right there to drag her back to training and pushing herself to be her personal best.


	7. Transition

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know we are all still processing but I wanted to share this anyway. This is written before I saw Crusade and is on the timeline of Under Fire.

Chris was happy in their new apartment. It was nice to have her own place again. She loves her family, but they can be overbearing and with what she put Sarzo through with the deputy mayor... thinking back about that situation so shortly after Dylan's death just made her mad at herself again. Street was right. She is righteous.

Should she change that? Well, the basic answer yes, but she should also keep what makes her unique and own her sense of what's right. It hasn't steered her too far of the path yet.

Erika was still asking for a good time for that housewarming and Chris only could tell her so many excuses. TLI was not a good one in her roommate's book.

A knock on her door brings her back to the present. "Are you ready yet? You wanted this early morning, before work out!" Erika shouts through the door.

Chris can't help but roll her eyes and laugh. "I am coming!"

Erika is always championing her and that strange betting pool, as expected as it was, came as a shock and motivator too. If that darn building thought Street was in the lead, there was a good possibility Hicks would see it like that too. And therefore, she had to train harder to show all of them who is the best.

Walking out to their cars in the pitch-black night of LA Chris could already see herself winning. And she had to admit she would enjoy that feeling.

There still was a niggling thought in the back of her mind, telling her that TLI, K9, and SWAT might be a bit much, but she couldn't entertain that and block herself mentally.

During the drive, her phone buzzed, and at HQ it was the first thing she checked.

"Hey, Erika are you ready for our first third..." she takes a pause and then adds "roommate?" Somehow it felt odd still to stop at third.

She can see the happy glimmer in Erika's eyes.

"Already? Yeah, bring them home. When?"

"I am going to get them after shift. They are at the training center."

After changing and light warm-ups in the locker room, the day gets slightly derailed. Chris can still see Tan's incredulous expression hearing about the betting pool and if he ever found out his odds... that could lead to something stupid even from a squared away officer like him. She can honestly say she prays he is smarter than that and ignores the disturbance.

Their day with the LAFD is slightly weird but it is so nice to show them they are a family almost as much as the firehouses are. The eyes when they show them the food truck and let them taste is just gold.

The case is dragging on and Chris feels somewhat powerless. They have no good way to get that firebug besides keeping the house safe.

While putting away the leftovers from lunch she goes over everything she will still need to get ready again for a dog. She has almost everything aside from food at home. And everything else "personal" should come from K9. She can't deny she is excited to have that feeling again and the opportunity to continue her work.

When she hears Street greet Molly, she looks in their direction and the anguish on Molly's face alone makes her pack away the food a little quicker. Just to get out of there.

Hearing that something seems to be going on with his mom almost immediately explains his distracted texting this morning.

Chris takes one last breath and packs away the last of the food. Just from the little things she heard, it seems there is some information missing, but it is not her place to say anything. And so she just walks out.

At the end of the day, she can't help herself. She has done everything in her power to get Street to a place where he can thrive, and she has to ask him how he will fix the mess.

A tiny bit of her heart breaks hearing him blame his mother for everything that went wrong in his life and that is when she just blurts out if he is sure he wants this relationship to blow up because of her too.

Chris can only hope he realized he needs to at least talk this out with Molly. If not, she can't say she'd blame the woman if she walks out.


	8. Reality

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, we are now even further in an AU world. You are going to see why.

Chris hates sitting in this hard, uncomfortable chair. She hates the sterile smell and look all around and most of all she hates the wait. The uncertainty of the situation and just overall not knowing what is going on with Erika.

She hates herself for suggesting Erika fill in for her again while she is at the training center. Erika had gotten shot on a raid with 20 David. A raid that Chris would normally have been on.

Chris had driven to the hospital immediately after Latasha, Erika's sister had called her.

 _God, please let Erika be okay._ Had run through her mind over and over again.

They had been waiting for what felt like an eternity now. Rocker and the rest of 50 squad were standing around quietly talking amongst themselves or pacing nervously. Her own team though was not here yet. Chris guessed they were still tied up with FID, but she knew Hondo especially would come by and check up on Erika as soon as he possibly can.

She had gotten used to the curious stares of patients and staff alike, but she refused to move into a private waiting room. No, she would be sitting out here in the hall until someone told her what was going on.

Chris can't help but continue to silently pray.

When the surgeon finally comes out Latasha, who until now had stoically sat beside her, grabbed Chris's hand for support.

"Are you all here for Ms. Rogers?" the surgeon asks and waits for an answer.

"I am her sister; these are colleagues and friends." Latasha steps up and gestures to the multitude of people stepping closer.

"Well then, Ms. Rogers suffered a punctured lung, and we were able to repair the damage. The recovery will be a little longer than usual and she will need to stay here for a few days. What she will need after her release will be determined by our PT and after-care team. She will be in her room in a short while and then you can see her. One at a time." The physician explains and looks at all of them very sternly.

Hicks had listened silently and was now again on the phone. Probably updating the mayor or whichever other politician was interested in that case. The Imperial Dukes were no joke, and the case was sure to hit the news quickly.

Chris had wanted to stay until Erika woke up and make sure she was okay for herself but her commitment to foster a K9 made that impossible.

"Call me if you need anything, for her or yourself," Chris says when she hugs Latasha goodbye.

Glancing at her watch Chris realized she had to leave in a hurry and pick up their four-legged roommate at the training center. A companion she was very happy to have for the evening.

On her way out of the hospital, she runs into Hondo and she can see the relief in his face almost immediately. "She will be okay. Her sister is with her now." Chris tells him before they both go their separate ways.

On her drive through town Chris also rehearses in her head how to broach the subject of going back to SWAT immediately and skip her week with K9 or reschedule. Having two teams down at least a member is not ideal, and she wants to do her part to fix what she broke.

Billy, the young Labrador she is taking care of right now barks happily seeing her, and waits for her to pet her head. Valdez had already talked to Hicks from the sounds of it and Chris could go back to her regular shifts with no problems attached, as long as she took Billy with her and organized for her to be at all scheduled training sessions.

Easier said than done, but she figured she'd manage. _Somehow._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't kill Erika. I adore her too much and well, that gives me the option to have someone for Chris to really talk to. Thanks for reading.


End file.
